One of my goals this year is to journal every day. This was my plan. I was going to decide that this was the year of Tovah. This was going to be the transformative year of Tovah, and I was going to journal every single day. Just sit down at night, just going to type a little, just going to state my goals for the day or for the next day. Big plans. I was going to get up at 5 a.m. every morning, just going to work out. I don't know when I was going to meditate, but I was going to meditate. I had a new job, newish. This was great. It was going to be wonderful.
Well, it's February 7th. Let me tell you, I have not journaled one freaking day. Not once. Not once. Once I sat down and I opened up a Google Doc, and that's how far I got. Here I am, February 7th, and I decided, "Let's rip off the band aid. I need to start telling people about these goals of mine, these journaling every day, the year of Tovah." You know, this is the first time that I am going to be hosting a two year old's birthday party without being very pregnant. It does sort of feel like things are opening up for me, because I'll be honest, in the past when I've had a two year old, I have had to remind myself, "Hey, just wait. In a few months, you're going to be back to ground zero. The clock will restart."
As much I love teeny tiny infant babies, and boy, do I love teeny tiny infant babies, there is something very calming and peaceful about knowing that this is done. That chapter is over. It's sad, it's scary, it's overwhelming, but it also means that not only can I refocus on the year of Tovah, but we can refocus on our family, as a family where we want to do stuff. We're not always running around playing catch up. We're not going to be separating our kids; here are the young ones, here are the old ones. You know, we're going to have three kids two and older, kind of amazing.
I feel like I just needed to get pen to paper and get something down. Now, ironically, when I said I needed to get something pen to paper, I'm dictating this. Even if I weren't dictating this, I'd be typing it up, because I don't journal anymore with a pen and paper. Maybe that's my problem. Let's be honest, I want screen times to be less. Maybe this is what I need to do, and actually pen to paper journal. . Now that I'm talking it out a little bit, because isn't this the magic of journaling, literally pen to paper.
Part of me wants to use this as an excuse to buy a new journal. Let's be honest, I own a lot of journals. When I'm done with this I'm going to go find a journal, I'm going to take a picture of it to show you that I have it, and I'm going to start journaling pen to paper. I don't know why this is a mind-blowing idea. Don't know why I'm just thinking of this now, but nonetheless, I am. Here we go, the year of Tovah, 2018, starting February 7th. Pen to paper. Game time.
Update: I've journaled 4 times in the last week. Victory!!
Do you journal?